Bar #38: Trio's Bar

Every city worth its weight has that dive bar whose exterior is so divey that you have to work just to figure out the name of that bar. Some of these bars have floors sticky with various unknown fluids and the majority of the patrons are either unconscious or have already stabbed you in the face. In other towns the bar's sign was simply blown off in a storm and never found its way back up. I found a sign in a window that said Trio's Bar and it was bar #38.

The first thing I noticed in Trio's was there's a bunch of cool stuff. (It's also, a lot bigger than expected.) They have a mixture of items that have sat in the bar's location for decades. Trio's was originally in Manja's location and then moved across the street when Cleeks was closing. Cleeks was a golf bar. There are antique golf items up on the walls, including a stakable chair and golf club head coat hooks. There also used to be 101 golf clubs up around the big mirror behind the bar. The bar also includes a strange golfer statue with a giant inflatable golf ball, a rotary pay phone, a wooden Indian, and a wall sized projection screen. They also have an awesome 70stastic juke box.

The music was only playing when people were using the juke box. Prior, the TV started us off with Jeopardy. Which continent do you think has the most UN countries? Then two older women took over and put on American Idol and Glee.

Hope you like cheap beer because that's what you're getting at Trios. I went with PBR because it was a buck and better on tap.

They don't have food so we walked over to Tai Hut; which I'm sure is good. I was tempted away by the Little Caesars in the distance and picked up my $5 preready peperoni pizza. Trio's provided paper plates for us.

The bartenders were both very helpful and full of information about the bar. I'm pretty sure they were also both a bit drunk by the time we left.

They have pool and darts. Dogs have been allowed inside the bar.

The answer was Africa.

Trio's was fun and has a good staff. Their beer is cheap and patrons friendly. The bar's clean, the patrons might not be. We all felt welcomed and wouldn't mind coming back again. Check out bar #38, Trio's, everything you want from a dive bar without the stuff you don't.

13362 Madison Ave

216-226-8828

Bar #37: Merry Arts

Now that it's May, those of you with basic math skills may have noticed that there are only 8 more weeks till my one year mark. Due to some slacking off and the addition of at least 4 bars to the list, I'm behind. I will now be writing multiple blogs per week in order to take care of the final 18 bars. My final sprint will start with the alleged oldest bar in Lakewood. I went to find out if they had learned how to be the best bar Lakewood in their many decades of business. Merry Arts is bar #37.

Merry Arts and another bar shares a good amount of city parking behind their building.  Tuesday seemed to be a busy night for the duo leading me to park on a side street. Upon entering I was greeted with a tavern with wood paneling, a brick wall and tin ceilings. They have plenty of TVs. There are two rooms with two bars, the second room also has a cozy area that includes a couch and ottoman.

We took a table in the main room and were quickly greeted by a perky waitress that would never leave us a waiting or wanting throughout the night. Her only downside was a lacking of knowledge about opinions on their wings or beer.

They have a nice selection of beer, both on tap and in bottle form all listed on their semi-up to date menu. I went through multiple Brew Kettle's 4 C's. This as an overall good beer, it doesn't rely on extra amounts of hops or spices. Instead it is a middle of the line solid beer that doesn't carry any complaints but also doesn't leave anything lacking. If you like one of their draft beers, then you can take just about any of them home in a growler!

They have a nice sized menu, which includes an impressive amount of different types of wings. It was wing night, so that was my route. I got both the medium buffalo and Parmesan garlic wings. The wings even without the sauce were good and the sauces weren't bad either.

Merry Arts has darts boards. They also have one of the nicer patios in town. It's all brick with a fireplace. There's also a comfy padded sectional.

Inside, there is a claw machine. Near the end of our evening a guy had decided to use said machine to grab some random stuffed animals for unknown reasons. We decided that we believed in him and quickly started chanting “CLAW!” We became more enthusiastic with every success and failure.  After a brief bit of flustering he rose the to cause and got two stuffed animals. The second of these fought him back tooth and nail eating up a dollar until it finally submitted. Clawman then gave his booty to our newest Every Bar in Lakewoodite, Andrea, under the excuse that his dogs will eat them so he can't take them home.  They say at Merry Arts, "You can't steal from a pimp."  But the pimp may give it away for free.

Merry Arts is a comfortable bar with a good beer list and menu. There are seating options for all. Our service was friendly and never left us waiting. The oldest bar in Lakewood has created a solid bar that gives you what you want both inside and out. I plan on returning to bar #37, Merry Arts, in the future for their famous taco night and everything else they have to offer.

15607 1/2 Detroit Ave

216-226-4080

Bar #36: Richland Cafe

Welcome to the third part of our trilogy of not waiting to go to the bars you want to go to. This week's bar was put off till we could see a group of entertainers that only perform there once every other month. Finally, we had the time to make it there when they'd be there plus it was their 2^nd anniversary. Unfortunately, they weren't performing, it was just a party. So this week we went to the Red Hot Heathen burlesque group's 2^nd birthday party sock hop at bar #36, Richland Cafe.

As you'll remember from the Obituary of the Red Rooster the Red Hot Heathens are a burlesque group that mix comedy, entertainment, costumes and partial nudity. They put on a variety show that includes pasties but doesn't include preconceived notions about what a woman needs to look like in order to be sexy. It's a worthwhile show for men and women alike, burlesque tends to have more women fans than male. In this week's blog there won't be any of that. Teaching us the lessons: burlesque troops don't have to strip on their birthday if they don't want to and if a sign doesn't say there will be boobs don't assume there will be. Luckily, they brought 1950s music, cake, streamers and a cut out car. Dancing fun was had by many!

The Richland Cafe is a rocker bar. So, you'll see a higher amount of tattoos and piercings then in other bars...Honestly, judging from my night there it seems to be a bar full of cool people that don't have a problem with you unless you have one with them.  "Only a rocker bar on certain nights, other than that it's just a close-knit local corner bar with some really great people!" -Jared Youtzy

The bar felt worn in but clean. The walls are a darker red. There are two rooms one with tables and the other with the bar. The bathroom had a frightening paper towel dispenser that it seems requires you pull the paper through the jagged opening and yank, using its plastic teeth to cut. They have a basketball shooting machine.  You can also play pool while keeping track of the score on the old sliding markers.

They had a wide range in beer from the cheap to the worthy. Service was quick even when the bar was crowded.

While posing in the Red Hot Heathens prop car for a picture I was car jacked/photo bombed by a man with a squirt gun. It was a very small gun but he seemed to know how to use it.

In the end I was having an off night and may return to the Richland Cafe for a reblog to do it justice.

The Richland Tavern is a rocker bar full of people having a good time. You won't be bored if you check it out. You will always have something that you want to drink and someone worth talking to at bar #36, the Richland Cafe.

14027 Madison Ave.

216-521-6678

Facebook

Red Hot Heathens Facebook

redhotheathens.com

Bar #35: Corky's Place

The second bar of the preplanned bars was put on hold till we could get all our friends that wanted to do karaoke. Of course after 8 months the 2 original friends that wanted to come didn't. However, it was my friend Aiden's going away party; so, we had plenty of people to go to a memorable night at bar #35, Corky's Place.

My business, Pawsitive Influence, is a door down from Corky's Place. You would think I would be heading over there all the time. I run a dog daycare and bring my dogs to work with me. Since, going to Corky's requires me to drive home and then return back to work I haven't felt compelled to make the trip. Plus, everyone that I know that's been to Corky's has been there for a specific reason karaoke. I don't sing. Tonight, I would sing karaoke for the first time in 15 years.

Corky's Place did know I was coming. They did nice things like reposting that I would be there Friday night, giving me a free beer, and putting up a Every Bar in Lakewood graphic on the screen. If there is one thing I have found during this blog is that if a bar is given an upper hand then bad luck or weirdness will ensue. The first of these happened before I even arrived. I got a text from Katie that there was a fight. A couple minutes later there was a second fight (only verbally this time.) That was the end of any violence of the evening. The scuffles were between the new bouncer and the previously fired bouncer who are normally friends. The new bouncer was victorious and like a Bumble, bounced the old bouncer.

The atmosphere was dark and taverny. This helped make the open layout feel intimate while drawing your eyes to all the entertaining features. These included ping pong, a bowling machine, pool, Golden Tee, free pop corn, a shiny bar section and, of course, karaoke. None of these were the first thing I noticed upon entering Corky's Place. What we were all immediate spell bound by was a very drunk man probably named Tom yelling out made up lyrics to a song while being a stumble away from face planting.

Johnny started us off with a brave choice, Pepper by Butthole surfers. It was better than Tom. Sorry Tom. The nice thing about karaoke is no matter how bad you sing there's always someone worse...or at least your friends will tell you that there was. I was the worst of us but that's coming up.

The list didn't have all the songs we wanted but the DJ was willing to look them up to see if he could download them. Normally we picked songs via a cracked ipod. There wasn't a printed list.

I went with Me & Julio Down by the School, it was a rash decision once my first three choices weren't available. It was also the wrong version so my timing was off. For normal people this would have been fine but as my voice acts like I'm tone deaf; I'm not. I hear that I'm wrong without the ability to fix the issue. After failing I went back to drinking (it's hard to mess that one up.)

Alcohol drank that night: mead and hard cider at the first bar, then Sam Adams, a jello shot, Bell's Oberon and to finish things off a can of Busch. I find Sam Adams to be the defining line between craft beer and corporate beer. Bell's Oberon is still awesome. Busch is not good, it has a kind of stale sweetness that probably comes from being made from corn.

The high and low points of the evening came one after another. Aiden got the bar excited by his rendition of Baby Got Back, including most of the bar yelling “Yeah!” at the appropriate times. My rendition, even with two of my friends backing me up, of the Boba Fett Rap was disastrous. It was probably played too fast, since between the three of us no one could keep up for more than two lines.

Rules to follow about karaoke.

1. Singing unhappy songs well is better than happy songs unwell. Example: Me and Julio vs my friends' Radio Head and Fiona Apple songs.
   
   
2. If you sing show tunes, you are never as good as you think you are, but you can pretend this is because of the speakers.
   
   
3. If you don't sing, you can't make fun of other people who do.
   
   
4. No matter how bad, drunk, sober you are compared to everyone else sing and have fun anyway.
   
   
5. If you are stumbling around drunk we, probably, don't think you are singing well, sexy or funny; and yes, we are laughing at you. (The tough love part of todays blog.)

The DJ was pretty good and usually funny. He played funny clips in between singers.

I met a fan that was real happy with my previous Corner Pub review and said I hit it right on the nose. Compliments and criticisms are always encouraged, more so the compliments. I also, met another person that had just heard that I existed and was there. She stood in front of me as I tried to tape my friends sing Bohemian Rhapsody. But I never have a problem with any of you coming over to talk and it is a very long song. It was made even longer by randomly halfway through jumping into fast forward. You could see their brains crash to a halt the word speed hit 5x. It was fixed and they pulled it off. They also received free shots for their trouble.

Eventually, the lights came up and it was time to go. We had a really good night and saw a handful of really creepy people (you can't have karaoke without a couple.) Most of the people there were normal enough, even saw a random friend. We really didn't have anything bad to say about our experience.

I got the lunch special later that week. A small pizza and a beer/pop for $5. It was good for $5 and cooked in the toaster over in like 3 minutes.

Fun fact: Corky's Place is named after the son of the original owners, my landlord. When they were registering the bar they needed to give it a name, which they had't come up with yet. So on the spot they named it after the kid.

Corky's Place is not your average bar. There is plenty to do there and karaoke Wednesday through Saturday. There's a wide range of beer available but mainly your standard corporate varieties on tap. There's a wide range of patrons that will always give you someone worth meeting and someone that will be refereed to in a later conversation “Did you see that crazy guy/lady/...person” Regardless, Corky's Place, bar #35, is a lot of fun and lived up to its reputation as the place you must do karaoke at. Fun enough in fact, that I returned or am returning, depending when you read this, the following Saturday, May the 4^th Be with You.

13302 Detroit Ave

Facebook

Life @ Silly Dogs

MySpace!