Bar #47 Pacer's Restaurant (Deceased)

This week's bar faces the strongest opposition that I have seen so far. When announced that I was going here for this week's bar I had multiple negative comments with a slew of likes on them. Looking up reviews of the bar gives an odd split of very negative and positive reviews. My friends and I still ventured in to this week's bar ready for anything. Is bar #47 the worst bar in Lakewood or is Pacers Restaurant on pace for the best.

The first thing you see when you get to Pacers is a gigantic patio. It's in fact the largest one in Lakewood. So, if today's blog entices you to visit, then do it while it's warm enough to enjoy the giant outdoor space. The second thing we noticed was the entrance is a revolving door, always a good decision for drunk people. Of course the entrance is for the entire office building and not just the bar.

Upon entering the bar you are greeted by the hostess and a long room. The bar is split in four parts. The quarter you're in is just entrance area and bar seating. You can circle around the bar for more seating at the bar and play a variety of games like pool, darts and corn hole. There is of course the large patio area, that we chose against to hide from the insect hordes. The downside to living next to a Great Lake is it's also a great buzzy insect incubator. Lastly there is a bunch of seating at tables and booths ending with a large projection TV. The whole restaurant has a horse racing theme, which explains their name.

Just to get this part out of the way the service was good. They were friendly, answered my questions and put up with the my minor obnoxious ordering quirks that have slowly grown through this blog.

I ordered a Southern Tier Pumkin Ale. It had its own glass and they put cinnamon around the rim. Pumpkin is the primary flavor to the beer with a background taste of mild ale and a dusting of seasoning. I prefer a pumpkin ale to taste like pumpkin, not as an ingredient to be hidden. So I approve of the beer and will drink more of it once it's no longer summer.

Now onto food! There's free fresh popcorn. I ordered the garlic and chili wings both saucy and crispy. This didn't please me, they are very small and the crispiness eliminated almost all meatiness leaving them a bit tough. I also ordered the self proclaimed “America's Best Ribs.” They are not the best ribs in America. They are quite good. The sauce was solid, not standing out but enjoyable. The ribs were tender and meaty. Kelly ordered the quesadilla with very low expectations but they were good, being both light and non-greasy. Their ranch sauce/dressing was highly recommended. They also offer food, some nights, till 1 am.

Jonn doesn't like spicy foods for the most part. You may remember from a previous blog that he still tried the ghost pepper sauce and extremely regretted it. Jonn has been trying fight back against things that make him unhappy. He has a fear of heights but has been climbing mountains, very tall buildings and even trapezing. This is the reason that he tried the undead sauce, just because he doesn't like most hot things doesn't necessarily mean he won't like this one. The counter argument was presented: I don't like being hit in the face with a ball peen hammer. I'm not going to try getting hit by other hammers to see if I'll like a different one. The moral to our story is that there is a difference between facing new things and your fears and doing things that will make you unhappy in different ways.


Today's tip on women: Guys, when women have a cold with puffy eyes, and a runny nose. No matter how much “you don't mind”, they do not feel sexy. They also probably won't want your oozing face near theirs if you're the sick one. Tell them they're beautiful and give them some chicken soup because you know you're going to be a whiney jerk when you catch it from her.

Pacer's can stand as much as a restaurant with a bar as a bar with food. They have your normal bar activities including trivia, karaoke and free wifi. There's no problem just drinking during your visit. Pacer's has a large food selection levels and received mostly good reviews by the five of us. The beer selection is passable giving multiple options no matter what your beer taste is. The pricing is above dive bar but you can eat a meal for under $10. We left bar #47, Pacer's Restaurant, happy and so can you.

14600 Detroit Ave

216-226-2000

pacers1453@sbcglobal.net

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Bar #43 Madison's (Deceased)

Eventually, while traveling to all the bars you will run into the -ests. The bar with the best food. The loudest bar. The bar with the cheapest shots or the cheapest people. This week I went to what may be the diviest bar in Lakewood. I went to bar #43, Madison's, expecting just a dive bar but what I found was a family.

I entered Madison's, running late, expecting that Johnny would beat me there. He didn't, so, I was alone when I entered. Madison's is the kind of bar that could get completely quiet when a new person enters. Tonight was drunk old people night and they didn't care that I was there even as I stared blankly at everyone expecting to see another Every Bar in Lakewood shirt. Everyone was over the age of 55.

They didn't seem to have any beer taps but had an area where taps should be. So I started of with a bottle of Yuengling. They had a 2 for $3.50 deal going on all their domestic and bottom shelf beers. So my second beer was a Miller High Life. It seems the high life tastes like fizzy, slightly tinny, water.

How Miller High Life saved Johnny's Grandmother

Johnny's grandmother had gotten sick many years ago and needed emergency surgery. Due to allergies she was unable to handle anesthetics. She sent her husband across the street to get the only thing that was going to get her through the surgery, a six pack of Miller High Life. After chugging 4 or 5 of them down she called on the doctors. It was a success.  The operation still hurt but it never would have been able to happen if it weren't for her favorite beer.

Food includes bags of chips and free pretzel rods.

The bar took up two sides of Madison's room. Behind the bar was the beer, booze, a bunch of random stuff and a microwave. The room also had a tv, mp3 jukebox and table. Later we found a second room, it was mildly creepy because it's lights being off, showed signs of disuse and a sign naming it the Insane Asylum. Originally we thought that was a reference to the women's bathroom. It offered a pool table, dart boards and some old, awesome booths with pleather covering.

The crowd though drunk and old were very friendly. Throughout our time there various people came up to meet to us. A nice couple, Helen and Dave, enjoyed talking to us about their regular bar. There were two themes that were hit upon repeatedly while we were there.

The first was family. Their patrons know each other and over time care about each other. Madison's creates a comfortable environment to spend their evenings. They share their lives and become family. The family theme spread into the staff and ownership of Madison's as well. Lisa's, bartender, mom was in an issue of Nightlife and they had collected 30 issues for her. They showed the magazines off for years. The Madison family has also suffered a loss this year.

The second theme was change. The owner of Madison's passed away leaving the bar to his brother. As they say, with every ending comes a new beginning. Many are hopeful that Madison's future will brighten this year. Among possible changes that may come could be the opening of the second bar in the backroom. As much as Helen loves her friends at Madison's she is hopeful that changes will be coming that will bring in new options, new life and new customers to an old corner bar.

Lisa the bartender brings the same pride to her job that I've seen repeatedly at the so called dive bars. The pride of doing a good job, making her customers happy and showing them respect, along with pride in the business that she is part of is seen in her work. Lisa does not drink at work because it's disrespectful to her business and patrons. It is obvious that she cares about this bar.

Madison's is a dive bar. It's got a bunch of random stuff on the walls accumulated over the years. It serves your normal domestic beers plus a hand full of Great Lakes options. If you're hungry, they've got some random varieties of potato chips. What makes Madison's a bar worth visiting is everyone there, whether it be customer or staff, wants Madison's to be. We were welcomed by the people being paid to be their and the payers. They want their bar to be successful, to grow and, to bring in your business. This may not be the diviest bar but it may have been the most inviting. You should come check out bar #43, Madison's, they're waiting for you.

Real Life Hidden Picture Search:  Scuba Helmet, Ohio State Football, Alien, Thelma, Blue Car, Giant Stein,
British Chips, Victorian Booze, Robert Ebert, Elvis, Miller High Life, St. Pauli Girl, Mexican Bear, Indians

12401 Madison Ave.

216-226-9851

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Bar #39: Kenilworth Tavern

A lot of thought can go into which bar you want to go to on a given night. Are you hungry? Do you want a loud or quiet night? Does the bar have a claw vs claw game? The trick is don't over think it because plans can change in an instant. This week the kitchen was closed so we went next door to bar #39 Kenilworth Tavern.

I couldn't start drinking on an empty stomach for long. After finding out the kitchen was both closed and cordoned off I went next door and found what I was looking for.

The Kenilworth is a sports bar that remembers when the Indians were getting good and when Browns fans only had one rival to hate (1995.)  They have a handful of interesting things up on the walls including a Bud car hood. They have plenty of TVs to watch the game you want, today included skateboarding.

The Kenilworth Tavern is owned by an older Greek family. Their menu is setup so that everybody that shows up is going to have something they want to eat. These options include some salads made by a mad cook, vegetarian options that teach us the valuable lesson that turkey is the other white beet, and a multitude of wing flavors. I got their cajun wings, which were amazing. It was one of my favorite wing/sauce combinations I've had in Lakewood. I ordered their suicide sauce on the side to try it out. It was good, it doesn't give up taste in exchange for heat.

The beer options are fairly standard; primarily your corporate options with a little Great Lakes and craft to tide the rest of us over. I tried a bottle of something different, glucose free. Redbridge is made by Anheuser Busch it tastes like beer, mostly. There's a funny taste to it, not necessarily bad but not something you'd choose to add to it. If you can't drink glucose than you won't mind this.

The Kenilworth Tavern uses what is becoming a well known trick to getting more people in the bar, good looking female bartenders. They are appearing more often now in the bars that in the past would have had some old bartender that only believes in serving beers or shots and like to push the ice into the glass with his fingers.  I've also seen other bars where this seems to have been a part of their turn around. Question for the women out there.  Does having a good looking male bartender affect your decision on what bar to go to? You're not going to get any complaints from me as long as the ladies can also do their jobs well; and I didn't have any tonight. My bartender/waitress was able to help me figure out which wings I wanted and let me know what was going on with their claw game.

The greatest of all claw games is usually in the Kenilworth Tavern. You don't know if you have what it takes until you are chasing something that can run away. This bar has a lobster claw machine. You put your money in.  Then try to chase down these red not-so-plush toys.  If you succeed, the Kenilworth will cook it up for you (possibly for a fee.) These lobsters were unfortunately wily. They decided that being boiled alive is a worse choice than most. The lobsters began clogging the filtration system and dying off every night. The claw vs claw game is now in the shop until the problem is fixed.

I met the Kenilworth Tavern softball team.  They are currently undefeated. They want the rest of the softball teams to know that they are best.

I have no complaints about the bar I ended up at this spring evening. The food was good enough to make me plan on going back. The service was good and quick. The beer options gave everyone an option even if they're allergic to glucose. Overall this bar wasn't my first choice. Once, I gave it a chance I didn't need to try anywhere else. You should head over to the Kenilworth Tavern, bar #39, it might just be the last bar choice you'll need to make.

Yeah, Kenilworth had Shaq!

18204 Detroit Ave

216-226-6882

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www.areyoukenilworthy.com

Bar #38: Trio's Bar (Deceased)

Every city worth its weight has that dive bar whose exterior is so divey that you have to work just to figure out the name of that bar. Some of these bars have floors sticky with various unknown fluids and the majority of the patrons are either unconscious or have already stabbed you in the face. In other towns the bar's sign was simply blown off in a storm and never found its way back up. I found a sign in a window that said Trio's Bar and it was bar #38.

The first thing I noticed in Trio's was there's a bunch of cool stuff. (It's also, a lot bigger than expected.) They have a mixture of items that have sat in the bar's location for decades. Trio's was originally in Manja's location and then moved across the street when Cleeks was closing. Cleeks was a golf bar. There are antique golf items up on the walls, including a stakable chair and golf club head coat hooks. There also used to be 101 golf clubs up around the big mirror behind the bar. The bar also includes a strange golfer statue with a giant inflatable golf ball, a rotary pay phone, a wooden Indian, and a wall sized projection screen. They also have an awesome 70stastic juke box.

The music was only playing when people were using the juke box. Prior, the TV started us off with Jeopardy. Which continent do you think has the most UN countries? Then two older women took over and put on American Idol and Glee.

Hope you like cheap beer because that's what you're getting at Trios. I went with PBR because it was a buck and better on tap.

They don't have food so we walked over to Tai Hut; which I'm sure is good. I was tempted away by the Little Caesars in the distance and picked up my $5 preready peperoni pizza. Trio's provided paper plates for us.

The bartenders were both very helpful and full of information about the bar. I'm pretty sure they were also both a bit drunk by the time we left.

They have pool and darts. Dogs have been allowed inside the bar.

The answer was Africa.

Trio's was fun and has a good staff. Their beer is cheap and patrons friendly. The bar's clean, the patrons might not be. We all felt welcomed and wouldn't mind coming back again. Check out bar #38, Trio's, everything you want from a dive bar without the stuff you don't.

13362 Madison Ave

216-226-8828