A longer time ago than I'm happy with I decided to write this
blog. When it began, it wasn't simply about going to the great bars.
Every Bar in Lakewood was about exploring all the opportunities and
leaving my comfort zone. This week's bar was the epitome of this
idea; though a favorite among some of more talkative Facebook
commenters. The Spitfire Saloon is bar #56 and the #1 bar I wanted
to visit when I began.
*Disclaimer: Spitfire Saloon isn't in Lakewood. Lakewood is on
the other side of the street. After a good bit of debate on
Facebook, it was decided that it would be included. This was because
the readers wanted it to be and a new rule was created: if I can hit
the bar with a snowball from Lakewood, then it's close enough to be
on the list. Plus, what's more punk than being on the list of Ever
Bar in Lakewood and not being part of Lakewood. It turns out,
Lakewood is still part of the Spitfire Saloon anyway.
The Spitfire Saloon is a punk concert bar with a reputation, at
least in the past of being high in levels of face stabbing and only a
good place for punk fans to frequent. It later got a sign and rumors
said that it was friendlier place. It's also now a favorite of the
nerdy arts community. Yes, we have one of those.
After some confusion about how to schedule going to a kitchenless
bar, we showed up full of Mexican food. The first thing you notice
when entering the Spitfire is that it's very formidable against
zombie attacks. Once you enter your eyes are drawn to a claw
machine. It's your normal shirt machine except for one little
difference. The claw has to drop 10 feet until it reaches the
prizes. Normally, I'm not good at claw machines. Needing to look up
to watch the claw and look down to see its destination reinforced the
norm. Three dollars later I had no shirt.
I spent my next two bucks on a Fat Tire Beer by New Belgium. I
found it disappointing, perhaps hot had temporarily changed my
palate. It seemed to be clean but had a secondary taste that none of
us could place. I came up with lame, if lame had a taste, this was
it. It had a super dry finish as well. Fat Tire Beer was quite
drinkable and had a great price for the evening, but I don't think it
lived up to expectations.
My second beer was (picked by the bartender) Monk Blood by 21
st
Amendment. It had a dark reddish color, like it's name sake, and
almost no head. The beer had a cherry mixed with other good stuff
flavor. It didn't have much alcohol taste and was super drinkable.
At 8.6% alcohol this may be the most dangerous beer I've ever drank.
I'm not the biggest fan of cherryish beers but by the time you finish
the first can, you want another 6 pack of em.
There are items to catch your eyes all over the bar. Between
interesting stickers, TVs with the Indians game, a half dozen custom
made arcade games built by the owner, two claw machines, an
interesting selection of people and a dog. The bartender was
friendly, talkative and helpful. He was able to accurately pick out
a quality beer both with specifications and without.
There was a diverse selection of people in the bar. You had your
old men, a higher percentage than normal amount of tattoos and dark
rimmed glasses, and a woman that both got shot down by one of the
guys watching baseball and brought in her own sushi. There was no
face stabbing and everybody was having a good time. The bar was
fairly busy on a Thursday evening.
The arcade games, 3 of which are built into the booth tables, were
full of old school console games. I started on Solomon's Key. This
is a puzzle game, where you can create and destroy blocks, shoot
fireballs that you find, and then die in frustration. My Nintendo
skills did not translate into the arcade controls raising my
frustration levels and causing arm flailingness to occur. This may
simply be a side effect of the Monks Blood. I then moved onto Super
Mario Bros. I figured I'd get a ton of play out of a quarter. I
figured wrong. I found myself incompetent at controlling my jumps
and only made it to the 2
nd board even with two extra
lives. Saddened by my newly found abundance of fail I moved to a
different booth with different games. I didn't write down the next
game's name. It starts with a large ape lighting your tent and butt
on fire. You then angrily attempt to climb a mountain to smite him
while avoiding neon green monkeys and an endless assault of monkey
testicles...
I used the bathroom in the basement. To get there involves going
through a maze in the depths of hell. There were crazy red stripes,
an anus symbol and somebody's organ on the floor. There was also an
extra hallway that smelled of smoke.
The music at Spitfire Saloon is primarily punk. The shows are
free. If you can't make it to see your favorite band, they also
stream all their shows for free. The band is paid directly by the
bar, which includes a tape of their set. If there's no band playing,
the (Scene award winning) jukebox is free as well. The only
restrictions are you have to be at least 21 years old and you can't
throw up in the urinal.
They have a contraption that shoots beer bottles at a wall. I
didn't see it but the awesomeness of its existence must be brought
up. They were also, theoretically, the first bar on the planet with
a half pipe in within.
“When we opened their was no bar that catered to people that
thought, dressed and lived outside the norm. People would go to just
whatever bar, even though the owners thought they where
undesirables.” -Spitfire Punk
I love this bar. I feel biased writing about Spitfire Saloon at
this point. It's got the basic makeup of the type of bar I'm looking
for. It's excited about what it provides and to whom and builds
community. It's a dive bar but has a fantastic selection of beer.
If it doesn't have the beer you want, they'll have an alternative
you'll like more. There's crazy arcade games all over the place.
They have a scary basement bathroom, this is preferred over mediocre
and disgusting bathrooms. They make their bands happy. This bar is
not for everyone. But if you aren't happy with the other bars you've
found, then you're probably looking for bar #56, Spitfire Saloon.
1539 W 117th St. Cleveland
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http://punkrockbar.com <-Can you believe they were able to get this website?
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