Bar #53 The Avenue Tap House

I've been to more bars in Lakewood than there are weeks in the year. The majority have been good for one reason or another. This blog isn't about that. We now begin the bars that I chose not to go to 52 times. Each one for a reason. This week, I go to a bar who's known for cheap booze, cheap women, and the worst wings I've ever had. Every bar deserves a chance to prove itself and tonight was bar #53, The Avenue Tap House's chance to show that I've waited too long.

This Tuesday evening I showed up to a mostly empty Avenue. The bar was half full; the large room behind it was empty. I was meeting my friend Jon tonight. Disappointment came quickly. First Jon wasn't there, then I was told they don't have food till 9 (it was 7). So, I ordered a beer (½ off) and waited. My disappointments took a turn for the better a half hour later, when both Jon and the cook showed up.

The Avenue Tap House has a bar on their left and right side sandwiching tables and stools in between. There's a raised seating area on the far left side with VIP style seating. A DJ station is set up above the primary bar on the left side. The back wall is basically just a wall with a big curtain over the entrance to where the bowling alley used to be. The bowling alley materials were sold to Mahall's a year or two ago.

My beer of the night was New Castle. It tastes like beer. That's basically it with this one. They eliminated the cheap qualities that plague beers like PBR and Budweiser and then stopped. Their beer options included a couple local craft beers, but mainly consisted of the normal domestics.

If you are coming to the Avenue for food check the schedule first. The cook comes in late for karaoke on Tuesdays and may not even be there on other days. If their kitchen isn't open, then you can order food to be brought over from The Kenilworth Tavern next door. We were able to get our food by 8. We went with the Taco Tuesday option but it lacked a vegetarian choice. The kitchen made this an option for Jonn anyway. The tacos were surprisingly good. Jon ranked them in his top three favorites in the greater Cleveland area. They are definitely worth checking out, the chicken more so than the beef. Avenue Tap House has jalapenos poppers (cheese version.) They taste like everyone's.

The story I was able to get on the two previous food providers to the Avenue is that both businesses didn't have enough variety to be successful in a bar that serves some food, as opposed to a restaurant with a bar. Basically, you need a variety of different (bar) foods to get people to impulse buy. The Avenue isn't a location to come for a specific food, except on Tuesdays. Beyond that, the wings I got from Guys Pizza at the wing crawl two years ago were so bad, we couldn't tell if they were undercooked or horribly frost burnt. I had liked their pizza. So, I don't miss them. I was also told by people that the following business, The Red Rooster, whose chicken I used to buy back when they were located by my dog daycare, was too expensive. I thought the chicken was good previous to moving to the Avenue. It looks like the newest option is the best one.


The music of the night was famous rock songs of the 70s and 80s. I assume this was to get everyone ready for karaoke. This brought up the conversation of, are these songs actually good, or are they only good because of the memories attached to them. Do I like Hotel California, which some people may argue is dreadful, because it's great or because my parents thought it was great and it was ingrained into me? Is The Eye of the Tiger amazing or does it feel that way in my head because I ran listening to it in cross country in high school and saw a montage in a movie containing it? The song, I'll Be Watching You, sticks out in many people's heads as a love ballad, especially after hearing it at so many weddings to the setting of people in new love. Is a song about Sting going mildly insane and stalking his Ex-wife a love song because our experiences dictate it? This effect of the events of our lives defining our perceived quality of music becomes apparent when we think to our favorite type of music and the bands that really stick out. Theses tend to be the music from our teenage years, which is always better than the music of today. The alternative rock of the 90s sticks out to me but perhaps it's only because that's what I left my childhood listening to. Our teenage genre of music becomes ingrained in our foundations of who we are as a person. Wonderwall probably does suck but it carries a lot of good memories with it, so it's good to me. Luckily, during karaoke, you can fake the effect of the songs sounding good with proper amounts of alcohol.

The service was good from both my bartenders Nicky and Mark.. They were friendly and put in the extra work to make sure that we were happy. Nicky tried to get us to stay for karaoke but wouldn't stay herself. She only sings if she's if she's drunk or if it's early and just her friends are around and she's singing Rainbow Connection. They were both open to chatting with us and not being just glorified drink pourers.

The Avenue Tap House's primary goal is to get people drinking. They offer good service at great prices. There are different activities and deals going on throughout the week. I have talked to people that leave the bar they are eating at to go drink for a bit at the Avenue to save money. Food is not their priority and isn't available as often one might like. However, if it is available, then I suggest you give it a try. Since. this is their third food provider, I'm glad I left it till Bar #53 skipping the first two. The Avenue Tap House was worth the wait.

18206 Detroit Ave.

216-228-1442t

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Bar #16: Madison Square Lanes

There's a bar in Lakewood that doesn't bowl for compliments with flashiness and gimics.  I've struck this bar more than any other in Lakewood.  But it's been a while since I've been there and have been pinning for it.  I couldn't spare another week.  So this weekend after the Spooky Pooch Parade we went to bar #16, Madison Square Lanes!

True, Madison Square Lanes doesn't have a tap.   For every rule an exception must be made, and there is something exceptional about Madison Lanes.  The bowling alley offers a bar, snack bar, bowling (of course,) pool, and a random assortment of arcade games.  What pulls all this together is Mike the owner.  He is always willing to help out and remembers the people that come in.

Your beer options cover both your normal options in canned form and a number of Great Lakes Brewery beers in bottles.  This is the first place I had the hipster iconic beer, PBR.  Since then, I have probably drank more PBR then any other beer.  The funny thing about PBR is that it's not very good, it's like a alcoholic water with a hint of beer.

They do have a variety of smacks you can order to be made from the bar.  More importantly, they have Sam's Smokies!  The best generic meat product in a plastic jar that money can buy.


I used a specific red ball back when I used to bowl more often.  It was the perfect weight and the holes were exactly where I wanted them.  This ball bumped my mediocre 130 average to a respectable 180.  The trick was that there was a chip in the finger hole that forced me to bowl better.  It also, made a mildly painful dent in my finger.  Mike wouldn't sell me it.  Turns out I wasn't the only one using it.  The combination of pain and a false sense of skill lead me to buy a new ball and shoes.  My finger felt better but my score did not.


Tonight, I used my red ball of awesome one last time.  One last time because it had two chunks taken out of it.  It left a dent but not in my score.  It seems if your ball randomly bounces it becomes less effective at hitting the pins.

Who is Mike you ask?  Mike owns and runs Madison Square Lanes.  He is what makes the bowling alley worth while.  He remembers the people that come to the Lanes and is usually there to offer advice on bowling and the individual lanes.  Thanks Mike.


Madison Lanes also has some other games.  There's a pool table.  You can get the feel of an amusement park with a classic quality skee ball game, sorry no game tickets.  You've also got the options of eating ghost clothes, jet skiing, and dancing.  You can also play your favorite backyard game, corn hole, but in an electronic folly ball version.  

Lastly, the bar has a juke box with a weird mixture of hits from over the last 60 years.  I usually make it my job to monopolize it for the entire time I'm there.  Primarily this is to prevent other people from playing bad music than my own skills as a dj.  Don't worry if you see me there I won't play anything off of the Best of Bread album.

I'm naming Madison Square Lanes as bar #16.  I go there to drink and have a good time with my friends.  This bar makes me happy and you should give it a try.  Tell Mike I sent you.


Awesome: Customer Service, Bowling, Juke Box

1653 Westwood Ave.

216-221-8558

Madison Square Lanes

Bar 11 The Winking Lizard

Depending on what you are looking for, this week I went to a great bar or this week I went to an awful bar. It's like me and peanut butter. I can't stand peanut butter but I like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. However, I don't like those Easter egg peanut butter cups because they are too peanut buttery. Bar #11, The Winking Lizard, is my peanut butter cup. The questions is, did it have enough chocolate to hide a bad experience?

The Winking Lizard is inside of a huge old BPOE Elks Club (as I learned from Stephen Udycz in the comments)  and it kept a lot of the original wood work. The entrance room gives you the option of heaidn upstairs to a private room, to the left is the dining room, downstairs is the bowling alley and straight ahead was the main bar area. The bar is a giant room full of old wood work and giant signs and tvs. There's plenty of seating and bar space. Johnny had already gotten a table, so I sat down and waited to put in an order.

Twenty minutes later, I gave up and went to the bar. The bar service was quick, helpful and polite. They have a large amount of beer on tap, I had an Arrogant Bastard. It's a nice complex beer full of alcohol and an awesome.They also have a giant variety of pop flavors, numbering over 100.

Food was real good too. I had five spicy bbq wings that weren't special but were very yummy and were actually a little hot. I also has these fried cheese wedges and really, what could be wrong with fried cheese wedges. By the time I got my food, one of the bartenders had switched my account away from the bar and back to our waiter. I let him know that I couldn't get service and I guess it was new kid. Luckily for me the manager was “helping” him now.

Closed bowling alleys are high on the creepy list.  They should do haunted bowling.

Service from then on ran every 40 minutes. This included time between ordering and getting beer and the time from when we wanted our check and were able to sign the receipt. Our waiter received $3 tip which was $1 for every word he said to me (he would only talk to John but did his job well when he did it). The last of the peanut butter is that a basket of cheese, 5 wings and 2 beers cost me $30.

Best Skee Ball in Lakewood

Now there are lots of fun stuff in the Winking Lizard, there's pool, skee ball, even bowling in the basement (it was closed that night). There is plenty of good food and beer everyone will like. The tvs are large and the sound system attached is excellent. I also love what they left of the building's original aesthetic. This is what many bars would like to be if budget allowed.  That being said, The Winking Lizard is a big chain bar that has the capabilities of dealing with poor service and it is implied in the cost. This is my second trip to a chain bar for this blog and both times the service as been poor and slow. Perhaps my standards are higher after visiting bars whose owners and employees are personally invested in their service and patrons. In the end I had a good time but when I got home I complained.

 I've been to the Winking Lizard before and I'll probably go back again. The Winking Lizard is the default bar of Lakewood.  It's the bar people go to when they need the majority of people to agree on it.  So go, have a good time and check off The Winking Lizard even if it is a peanut butter egg on occasion.

Awesome: Skee Ball, Games, TVs,  Food

14018 Detroit Avenue

216-226-6693

http://www.winkinglizard.com/

Also, I'll be Tweeting from the bars on my bar nights as well.   https://twitter.com/EveryBarLKWD

Bar #8: Red Rose Cafe (Expanded & Renovated)

I used to see her on a regular basis. We liked to go bowling. She always made me this pop corn that was that addicting combination of slightly stale and a bit extra salty. Then one day she decided I should sing every time I saw her. I was out of there. It's been a few years. It's time to see her again. This week's bar is one of my ex-regular bars. My ex is Bar #8, the Red Rose Cafe, and I think we can be friends.

We ended up meeting up with John and Katie at the Red Rose at 7:25. This is important because the cheap burgers and kitchen in general both ended at 7:30. The burger and fries were fine, I had
 no complaints about them whatsoever. I also need to go back for the deep fried Oreos; I've never had them and I need to. There was no pop corn.

My beer of choice was Dortmunder breaking my Great Lakes seal on this blog. I'm still optimistic that I'll be able to have a different beer at every bar. I like Great Lakes Brewing Company, regardless of what beer I get from them I'm sure it'll be good. Kelly got a Blue Moon. She was mocked by some chick in sweat pants for her “fancy beer” when she asked for an orange with it.

As for ambiance, it looks like a generic dive bar with a skinny yet effective patio in the back. However, what makes the Red Rose Cafe awesome requires some quarters. They have a Pac-Man/Ms Pac-Man/Galaga arcade game. I didn't play it. I will when I go back for my Oreos. What we did play for hours was the best bowling machine I've found in Cuyahoga county. It uses real wooden balls and has a bunch of settings. These includes FLASH-O-MATIC, everything is better when it's made o-matic. It even has a built in drinking game.

 A note of warning. If you bring a bunch of nerdy guys to a bar they will act exactly the same except for one difference. No matter how stupid your logic is, if you are the loudest you must be correct. Luckily, due a genetic advantage I'm always right.

I originally left because of one of the Red Rose Cafe's improvements, karaoke. I think it helped their business but it's not what I want on a normal bar night. Since then, they've added a patio and a kitchen. I approve of the new Red Rose Cafe. You should go eat deep fried Oreos and play bar bowling because you have no excuse not to.

Awesome: Deep Fried Oreos, Bar Bowling

14810 Madison Ave

216-228-7133

https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Red-Rose-Cafe/202294795832

Week 1: Mahall's 20 Lanes (New ownership)

SURPRISE!

We begin with my wife's first surprise birthday party. After a couple weeks of preparation, including having 2 of my friends invite Kelly out bowling for her birthday, it was time for the big surprise. Our venue and first bar of this blog was Mahall's 20 Lanes. As we got out of the car Kelly says, “Is that Sue's car?...Are my friends here?” She slowly turned and started naming off a the owners of all the cars across the street. I denied it all, of course, as I watched weeks of prep go down the drain.

We went in to meet our friends, Steve and Beth, and Kelly carefully looked around trying to spy the party early. I lead the way down the stairs past our friends waiting to yell the destined surprise. Seconds later Kelly was in front them and it happened! They snuck off and hid. Minutes went by as our friends were now confused and stuck in in a room that Kelly had no reason to be in. A text later and some random distracting allowed for some very hesitant, then excited surprising.

Everyone working at Mahall's was very helpful, they gave us all the dishes and utensils for the pizza we ordered from Angelo's (kitchen is closed on Sunday evenings it seems) and Kelly's cake. We had control over the music from the speakers in the basement and got to wish Kelly a happy birthday through them as well. Last time I was here, this lead to a dj playing an entire Donna Summer's album An album that included Disney classics from Beauty and the Beast and the Lion King. Those were the high points, she also sung a remake of the worst song ever sung, Dumbledore's McArthur's Park (over 5 minutes of a cake being left out in the rain being compared to a breakup).

The beer selection is diverse with higher quality beers, including Sixpoint on tap, which was my favorite. But there weren't any of the regular corporate beers on tap.

The food (eaten the first time I visited the new Mahall's) is an amazing upgrade on normal bar snacks. In an area with easily a half dozen good Mexican restaurants I can honestly say that Mahall's spicy brisket taco, with it's pickled onions and jalapenos, is one of the best I've ever had. If you prefer something that hasn't walked around in the past but is still the best you've ever had, go with the elote (Mexican corn on the cob).

How has Mahall's upgraded under it's new ownership? Instead of new technology they went with what made the bowling alley great and how it could have been and is now, better. The alley's are 2 floors of restored wood in great shape. The walls are bare brick minus the mocking tv screens of your average bowling alley. Yes, this does mean that you have to be able to do the math yourself on the paper score sheets provided. The bar area is roomy with a tall ceiling aiming more at comfort than packing the room with chairs. This leaves a large pool room with bar and stage for weekend bands and a game room where you can pick up a vintage board game if you want to roll something square.

I would call this a hipster bar, except that it's neither snobby nor ironic. You can tell that the owners love this bar and everything about it. You can also tell that it's contagious. I've had a great time both times I've been here. The more primitive, hands-on features make it a more personal experience. A warning to hipsters, I know you like your layers and winter caps, but there's no air conditioning that I've felt. Dress for summer. That being said, I had a good enough time that it was never overshadowed by the lack of artificial cold.

Lastly, the pickled foods were found only in the tacos but there were no weird food jars. My search continues. 

I definitely, recommend Mahall's 20 Lanes as a destination of bowling, music, food and beer for those that love them or would like to.

Since this was written Mahall's now has air conditioning!

Unique: Vintage Bolwing, A good unique take on common foods, Live Music, the Staff

 

13200 Madison Avenue, Lakewood, Ohio 44107

216-521-3280

http://mahalls20lanes.com/

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