Bar #14: Manja

Different people see hipsters in different ways.  To some, hipsters are lazy people that apathetically like old clothing and random things ironically.  To others, hipsters are people that pay attention to what is cool before the mainstream knows about it and what should be cool again.  Manja is known as a hipster bar but is it cool or is it simply ironically bad.

There are rules to follow when going to a bar. Rule #1, don't show up to a bar the minute they open. To be a hipster you need a certain nonchalance. You can't be nonchalant during an hour defined by being happy. Manja rejects so called "happy hours", not only by having beer prices competitive with the other bars temporary price drops but by rejecting the happy hour time block altogether. Manja usually opens around 9. Unfortunately, I start work every morning at 7:15. Staying out late on weekdays is rarely a good option. This brings us to why I broke rule #1, I wanted enough time to get a good feel for the bar and catch, at least the beginning, of the comedy show that night.

We were the only people in the bar for the first hour. We talked with John the bartender while we drank our first beers. He had two pythons, one of which is recently deceased. The snake's sibling may be acquired, you'll find a sign with a picture in the bar.Manja is a great mixture trendiness and college dorm room. This is seen by comparing the designer bar and hanging lights with the vintage couches and painting of Kramer. Pink Floyd was prevalent on the speakers but you can pick the music.

Some would say that a bar named Manja must have amazing food. However, Manja is so ironic that it offers nothing to eat all. Most of the beer options are working class cheap beers like PBR. I added the renowned Yuengling to my beers on tap list. Yuengling had been one of the most sought after beers to move to Ohio. The demand was so high that it was unable to handle starting sales to our state. A year ago Yuengling decided that was enough and opened an entire factory in Kentucky just so that Ohio could partake. It seems to be a success because I rarely can find a bar that doesn't carry it. It's probably my favorite of the mass produced beers of the US.

After our talk of John's snake, we moved on to the Sociability Center to play Foosball. As mentioned previously, I am not good at Foosball. I did come up tied playing against Johnny 1 game to 1. John, paid for our games and also for the two games we played against him. Bar Rule #2, do not play the bar game against the bar owner; you will lose. I was happy that I scored a point, but after only scoring 1 point you can never accept the "good job" by your opponent without a scowl. The owner may be a vampire, which would explain why the bar isn't open while the sun's out and his lightning fast reflexes on the Foosball table.

Around 10, people started showing up, including the funny people. By 10:30 the bar had a nice crowd but the little voice in my head start complaining that I had to wake up in 7 hours for a 13 hour day. Unfortunately, I had to leave with the night obviously feeling unfinished.  I'll leave you with a To Be Continued on the tale of Manja so that I can go there while people are around.

Obviously, I would go back to Manja. It's got a hip and friendly atmosphere and crowd, cheap beer, and a great downloaded list of songs on the giant pay ipod.  Once you're tired of your old bar head over to Manja where the party's just beginning.

Awesome: Customer Service, Atmosphere

13373 Madison Ave

216-221-5445

Manja on Facebook

Bar #13 Bonnie and Clyde's Bar (Deceased)

One of the biggest hurdles that I have to watch out for while doing this blog is the raising of expectations. You hear these great things about a bar and the bar just gets better and better in your head. This week's bar is one such bar. I'd heard their food is great and have only heard about how wonderful the bar is. The question is does Bonny and Clyde's Bar do a bang up job or is this bar the unlucky #13?

Kelly and I arrive at Bonnie and Clyde's a couple minutes early and waste a couple minutes out front until Katie and Johnny arrive. Before they arrive we are met my new craziest old guy we've met at a bar. We're looking up the street seeing if we see them when suddenly there is a loud high pitched sound directly behind us. I spin around and am greeted with an old man with a giant gray/white beard on a bicycle. He was wearing a backpack with a single flower sticking out of it. He then motions to me if he can have a smoke. I say no, and he silent rides off up the sidewalk. Sadly, I didn't get a picture of my ninja, hobo friend.

Katie showed up next but Johnny wouldn't meet us for a while as he was thwarted by animals for the third time that day. The first was that he helped save a dog hit by a car that morning on his way to work (he didn't hit the dog.) The second was his car was attacked by a bird. This last time, a herd of 20 deer blocked off the exit from his parking lot.

The excitement never stops out front of Bonnie and Clyde's Bar as we approached and greeted by Bonnie, the owner. She was very friendly and excited to show us around her bar. She was one of a couple of bars that had invited us to come see them early on in the blog. She did not have a tommy gun.

They have two rooms with fun 20s style and they place was busy. The seating, even the bar seats, was quite comfortable, I've rarely found the seating worth mentioning and even rarer bringing up their comfort. There was paintings of Bonnie and Clyde's scenes throughout the second room. It also included some dart boards.

Bonnie then brought us back to a very nice hidden back patio. She took pride in it and it showed. We also heard a story about a woman that decided to move both above and next door the two bars at this location. She calls the police on a regular basis complaining about the noise. I'm not going to say that a bar patio is never noisy but Bonnie's is hardly one of Lakewood's rowdier bars and there's no speakers outside. But I would like to know why she moved into a location that was surrounded by bars?

 

My beer was a Lemon Berry Leinenkugel. I didn't hate it but I didn't like it either. It was a mixture of berry and lemons but really tasted fairly generic.

We put our orders in with our waitress with our hopes high after many accounts of how good the food was. I ordered the day's special, a ground beef quesadilla . A few minutes later, two more of our friends showed up, Beth and Yvette. They waitress immediately began to help them but disappeared when they said they were going to go look at the taps. They got their orders in within the next 10 or 15 minutes. 

 

Our conversations included exciting topics like: Everything tastes better with dog hair in it (no dog hair was found in or near food from Bonnie and Clyde's) and mechanical claw games that allow you to catch live lobsters.

A little while later they got their food. 15 minutes later I went to the bar to ask what had happened. The cook couldn't give any reason but our waitress was very apologetic.

Eventually, the food did come. My quesadilla was giant and good. Nothing that I would have complaints about as was everyone's food that came. It didn't quite live up to the expectations of the best food ever made but it never does.

Bonnie and Clyde's Bar is an overall solid bar with a good beer selection, food, and atmosphere. It's owned by a woman that really cares about her bar and making it a place to go. As a comparison to Bar #11, after I left Bonnie and Clyde's I was still happy and had good things to say about it. Basically, you gotta give Bar #13 a shot, you won't regret it.

Awesome: Atmosphere, Food

13603 Madison Ave.

216-228-0706

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bonnie-and-Clydes-Bar

Saturday Celebartion!

Get ready for one of Lakewood's biggest bar event weekends. Every Bar in Lakewood has been invited to four different events this Saturday. There's a wing crawl, a classic car and music show, a pot luck, and a wedding reception (congratulations Steve and Beth!) This should be a great weekend for you to make a dent in our list of all the bars.

First off is the Pillars Wing Crawl. You'll be able to get 4 wings at each of the 11 bars participating. You'll also get to ride around in the shuttles. The cost is $20 presold, you can buy them online or at the partipating bars. You get five bucks off if you are part of the Pillars. The bars are Around the Corner, Avenue Tap House, Midtown Booths, Deagans, Eddy and Iggy's, Harry Buffalo, Jammy Buggars, the Local Bar, Merry Arts, Plank Road Tavern and the Riverwood Cafe. If you buy online you can pick up the passes tomorrow at the Local between 12:30 and 2pm. The crawl will last from 1 pm till 7 pm. Come out and try some of the best chicken wings in Lakewood and vote whose is the best. Drink beer, eat wings, it's the democratic thing to do!

http://pillarsoflakewood.org/wingcrawl/

That's not all, Madison Avenue will be rocking all day long as Lakewood throws it's 10th annual Car Kulture Show. The show runs from 10 am till 6pm. You'll get to see plenty of classic cars, including hot rods, vintage race cars and even custom made. There will also be plenty of chopper and bobber style motorcycles. There will be vendors offering everything you can think for the hot rod and cycle enthusiasts. Music will be outdoors for most of the day and move into the Screaming Rooster with the Straight 8s at 3:20. After the show ends you can catch more rock-a-billy playing Straight 8s at 9pm back at the Rooster. The Red Hot Heathens Burlesque Troupe will be performing between their sets. During the day don't forget to stop in the Rooster, Mars Bar and Beer Engine they helped sponsor this fantastic event. Make sure you stop on by, it'll be running before the crawl and it's free!

http://www.lakewoodcarkultureshow.com/

What's missing from all this awesome? Togas! The Tarrymore Tavern will be having a toga potluck party starting at 1pm on Saturday. Stop on by in your best sheet (maybe not best) and share some food, fun and buy some cheap beer. You are guaranteed to have a good time!

https://www.facebook.com/events/128865090591357/

Today's official bar is Around the Corner! Also, don't forget to buy a t-shirt from our shop, they'll be needed for a contest we'll be starting soon. Have a great weekend and go enjoy Lakewood!

Week 6: Plank Road Tavern

There are some bars that always seem to have a new owner and names. Now, I need to decided, should I add the bar to my list with each incarnation or am I just going by address?  If I'm sitting on the same stool drinking the same Coors, does the fact that the name's been scraped off the mirror so many times that its been painted on the wall behind now, mean that it's a different bar? Bar #6 The Plank Road Tavern aka the Riviera aka Panini's says otherwise.

The Plank Road Tavern was the closest bar to my house and that made it an easy decision. Well, that and I couldn't figure out if the original bar I was going to would be open. Upon entering the bar had a wide open woody feel. Their beer list is drawn with chalk on the walls. Their use of plank wood flooring helped match the bar's name. There was even a fake wood fire place mounted to the wall. The most obvious piece of ambiance to the bar was the Irish band that seemed to make the music up as they went (but in a good way.) The staff was friendly, but did split the table service between the cook and the bartender.

The food was great. You get to design your burger with multiple types of meat and many toppings. I went with the chorizo burger that was a really great burger without being overwhelming. The fries were pretty good. They were a kind of hybrid between potato chips and french fries. The beer selection was wide and mainly craft allowing everyone to get a beer they really like.

Luckily, I did walk to the Tavern. I have a genetic tell, that shows when I am drunk. I come from an Italian family. We live up to a hand full of stereotypes. One is my Noni (grandmother) still makes spaghetti for the whole family every Thursday. The next two are apparent during our holidays. One is our love of food which quickly looks like a plague of locusts eating all food in sight. The second is that we are loud. Not all at once, we are like a thunder storm ruling in off the lake. A little uproar here and there and then suddenly (especially if alcohol is present) we are thunder. Part of this is how each speaker is selected; every time a new person talks they are slightly louder. One hour later, we are all happily yelling at the top of our lungs about childhood anarchy, causing any new husbands or girlfriends of cousins visiting our Christmas for the first time to end up in a food coma/shell shock induced fetal position. I am the same way at the bar regardless of competition. A couple hours into the night and I'm talking in at the decibel level of a 747 for no apparent reason and suddenly my wife takes my keys away. Which is fine because I don't believe in DUI and you can't talk your way out of a ticket when you are screaming at the cop at the top of your lungs how you are just tired.

Near the end of my evening I decided to head to the patio to take a picture for the blog and found the other half of the bar. There is a huge patio out back, big enough to play a long distance game of corn hole while having plenty of room for everyone else. In the back was a kickball team that included one the owners/parents of one of my dog school students. It turns out they aren't simply big fans of my classes but also of my blog, as they quickly introduced me to anyone from their team they could drag over to me. They own a 6 month old goldadoodle named Luke that is trying very hard to earn his Canine Good Citizen despite the handicap of also being part Muppet.

The Plank Road Tavern is a comfortable bar with good service, food or beer. It's a great place to meet your friends or other people's without feeling claustrophobic or stuffy. There was nothing to complain about even if I wanted to. Make sure you stop by while the weather's still nice and check out that huge patio in the back.

The final lesson of the evening that my friend John learned was, after me coaxing his drunk self to find out, you can't join an acoustic Irish folk band with an electric base guitar. This week I'll both be attending the VIP grand opening party for Quaker Steak and Lube tonight and I'll be a celebrity judge for the Pillars of Lakewood Wing Crawl this Saturday. Hope to see you all at one or the other!

Awesome: Food, atmosphere, Music, Craft Beer

16719 Detroit Ave

216-221- 5900

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*All photos are from Plank Road Tavern's Facebook page as my camera phone fail me.

Week 3: Mars Bar (Expanded and Renovated)

There are two stories starting with a bat this week. One of these is the potentially awesome movie Dark Night Rising and the devastation of the attack of the theater in Colorado. I am deeply sorry for those who were killed and injured in the shooting. I send my best wishes to their loved ones.

The second bat begins this story a couple months ago. I had just woken up, was groggily getting ready in the bathroom when I hear a scratching noise coming from the drop ceiling above me. I figured it was a chipmunk or mouse that had found its way into the house. Suddenly I saw a black fluttering shape scurrying across the light panel.

I ended up doing the logical, terrifying action of sticking my head in the ceiling of trying to coax the bat out of the ceiling into a positioned pillow case. After a couple almost catches and me jumping out of the ceiling once screaming like a girl, the bat escaped into the attic. I did find something else in its place. There was a postcard with a half naked woman on it. Was this the boob fairy leaving me a present? Under closer inspection it turns out this was an old postcard sent to the Mars Bar. Apparently it was stolen, then hidden in the ceiling by the previous occupants of my house. The post card made its way to my refrigerator (I don't have friends with kids over often) until last weekend when my friend's Ramona and Aidan were over. When Aidan saw it, he of course brought it up and we related the story. The end result was I needed to go to the Mars Bar this week.

I haven't been to the Mars Bar in a while. My first thought when I got there was: wow, they've made a lot more room. Mars Bar now has a nice covered patio in the back and a second patio area in the front. Inside, is colorful without being obnoxious, with quality wood stool seating. The Mars Bar is surprisingly roomy for the space it has to work with. The music which ranged from metal to classic rock filled the empty space providing a nice change from the pop hits that permeate many other bars. Their digital jukebox can play anything else you can imagine.

The Mars Bar had a nice selection of beer for everyone, the quality drinkers , the quantity drinks, and even for the fruit tasting beer drinkers. I had Boulder Beer Company's Mojo IPA. It was a surprisingly smooth, both in taste and texture, Indian pale ale. If you've never had a pale ale, this is good place to start. If you already like them, you'll appreciate Mojo works more for quality and detail, then overwhelming taste.

I'm sure they have other good things to eat at the Mars Bar but you don't have choice of your first meal. When you walk in you see it sitting across the bar glowing at you, slowly spinning. A cone of pig, calling out to be turned into a more appetizing form. Their pork gyros were very good, neither skimping on portion or flavor. The addition of mustard and yogurt makes the flavor a bit more unique in town that serves many gyros.

Many of my friends came out last night to support me with this new endeavor. We hung out on one of the few comfortable nights we've had on the back patio. We all had a good time and only had good service from the bartenders.

The talk eventually moved as it tends to, to the Browns. Two of my friends recently moved from Cincinnati and Chicago, respectively. They come from cities with teams who've had their good and bad years, overall are teams that have a decent chance at winning seasons. They are excited about becoming Browns fans. They found our secret to following a team which hasn't lived up to expectations, one that we may not realize. In short, we don't live in Cleveland, Cleveland lives in us. The people of Lakewood, Cleveland in general, are Browns fans because the Browns and our cities are an extension of us. We are a people that have seen things at their worst but through a mixture of stubbornness and hope are willing to chip at the bad, while waiting till we make it right. This Clevelandness has kept Lakewood a great place to live, has allowed Cleveland to be a better city with each year, has seen the Indians and the Cavaliers rise to greatness over the last 2 decades. We aren't Browns fans, we are fans of ourselves and we'll bring the Browns along for the ride.

The Mars Bar is the epitome of our area. It's smaller than its competitors. It doesn't offer anything you can't get somewhere else. The Mars Bar didn't want to be just a little dive bar, they've made a small trendy bar, comfortable for anyone to come to. They didn't want to be just a small, red, distant tavern, now they're bigger and one of us. Mars Bar made a good gyro that isn't the same as the other dozen and it's great. Come to the Mars Bar, it's like us, always getting better with a splash of mustard.

Awesome: Customer Service, Community, a Great Gyro

15314 Madison Ave

216.228.4500
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*Picures with no people are from Patch.com

I Like Beer

I like beer. A key component of any good bar is beer. We toast, relax, socialize and even create life with the help beer, even if not purposely. Beer has even helped with some of the great milestones of humanity. I didn't get to a new bar last week because of the holiday. This week I'm writing about something that this blog couldn't exist without, beer.

Beer is a genius combination of unlikely ingredients. First off, you have barely a grain you wouldn't think to make bread out of but it's the key ingredient to fueling our beer. It's brought to germination/sprouting roots and then roasted to create the food for our second and even stranger ingredient. A fungus by the name of yeast eats the sugars/sweetness out of the barley and gives us beer in exchange.

Yeast produces many beer ingredients through it's ingestion of sugar known as fermentation. Alcohol is one of the possible bi-products of yeast. The yeast can also produce different tastes like clove, woody, or fruity. However, the yeast can't eat all sugars which can lead to some beers still having a sweetness to them. The final addition the yeast add to the mix is the fizz. In the big beer brands, the yeast is killed and the beer is carbonated. Live beers last for years and don't become skunky. Figuring out that you could germinate barley, boil it and feed it to fungus wasn't enough for early brew masters, it was missing something. It was missing flowers, hops to be exact, that when boiled with the barley could be used to add new bitter tastes and smells to the beer.

These ingredients allow us to make a number of different types of beer. Ale can be made quicker than lager only needing a week of fermentation. Ale can also come with a number of fruity/flowery tastes and aromas through the yeast's byproduct of esters. Lager requires a lower temperature and a slower fermentation lasting over a month. This long fermentation eats away at the esters leaving the hops to rule taste and scent of the beer. Other beers are just forms of these styles of beer. A pilsner is just a malty light lager. In contrast a stout is just a black and roasty ale. Many of the corporate American beers and asian beer's taste are cleaned by making the beer with rice or corn.

These components along with being able to add almost anything you can imagine to its creation gives us the option of drinking any kind of beer we can imagine. I will try a different beer as I try a different bar each week and I'll let you know how it is. Don't worry, these articles will be less dry in the future.

Normally, I probably won't be letting you know which bar I'm going to next to keep things more real and keep a mob of my adoring fans from filling up the bar. I think 27 people can count as a mob. My next stop for bar #2 is Bobby O's on Wednesday at 7pm Come visit if you have the time. And pick-up a shirt off the site, so you can start checking off your own list of Every Bar in Lakewood.

Week 1: Mahall's 20 Lanes (New ownership)

SURPRISE!

We begin with my wife's first surprise birthday party. After a couple weeks of preparation, including having 2 of my friends invite Kelly out bowling for her birthday, it was time for the big surprise. Our venue and first bar of this blog was Mahall's 20 Lanes. As we got out of the car Kelly says, “Is that Sue's car?...Are my friends here?” She slowly turned and started naming off a the owners of all the cars across the street. I denied it all, of course, as I watched weeks of prep go down the drain.

We went in to meet our friends, Steve and Beth, and Kelly carefully looked around trying to spy the party early. I lead the way down the stairs past our friends waiting to yell the destined surprise. Seconds later Kelly was in front them and it happened! They snuck off and hid. Minutes went by as our friends were now confused and stuck in in a room that Kelly had no reason to be in. A text later and some random distracting allowed for some very hesitant, then excited surprising.

Everyone working at Mahall's was very helpful, they gave us all the dishes and utensils for the pizza we ordered from Angelo's (kitchen is closed on Sunday evenings it seems) and Kelly's cake. We had control over the music from the speakers in the basement and got to wish Kelly a happy birthday through them as well. Last time I was here, this lead to a dj playing an entire Donna Summer's album An album that included Disney classics from Beauty and the Beast and the Lion King. Those were the high points, she also sung a remake of the worst song ever sung, Dumbledore's McArthur's Park (over 5 minutes of a cake being left out in the rain being compared to a breakup).

The beer selection is diverse with higher quality beers, including Sixpoint on tap, which was my favorite. But there weren't any of the regular corporate beers on tap.

The food (eaten the first time I visited the new Mahall's) is an amazing upgrade on normal bar snacks. In an area with easily a half dozen good Mexican restaurants I can honestly say that Mahall's spicy brisket taco, with it's pickled onions and jalapenos, is one of the best I've ever had. If you prefer something that hasn't walked around in the past but is still the best you've ever had, go with the elote (Mexican corn on the cob).

How has Mahall's upgraded under it's new ownership? Instead of new technology they went with what made the bowling alley great and how it could have been and is now, better. The alley's are 2 floors of restored wood in great shape. The walls are bare brick minus the mocking tv screens of your average bowling alley. Yes, this does mean that you have to be able to do the math yourself on the paper score sheets provided. The bar area is roomy with a tall ceiling aiming more at comfort than packing the room with chairs. This leaves a large pool room with bar and stage for weekend bands and a game room where you can pick up a vintage board game if you want to roll something square.

I would call this a hipster bar, except that it's neither snobby nor ironic. You can tell that the owners love this bar and everything about it. You can also tell that it's contagious. I've had a great time both times I've been here. The more primitive, hands-on features make it a more personal experience. A warning to hipsters, I know you like your layers and winter caps, but there's no air conditioning that I've felt. Dress for summer. That being said, I had a good enough time that it was never overshadowed by the lack of artificial cold.

Lastly, the pickled foods were found only in the tacos but there were no weird food jars. My search continues. 

I definitely, recommend Mahall's 20 Lanes as a destination of bowling, music, food and beer for those that love them or would like to.

Since this was written Mahall's now has air conditioning!

Unique: Vintage Bolwing, A good unique take on common foods, Live Music, the Staff

 

13200 Madison Avenue, Lakewood, Ohio 44107

216-521-3280

http://mahalls20lanes.com/

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Week 0: What's a Bar?

Kelly, my wife, and I ran into two problems before we started putting this blog together. The first was, how do you define a bar? The second, what bar do you go to the week before you start a quest to go to Every Bar in Lakewood? The answer to the second was obvious, Chinese food. I love eating at Szechwan Garden. However, they are not a bar and do not get on the list.

Here are our results:

1. There must be a bar to sit at.

2. You should be able to sit at the bar without feeling awkward for not ordering food.

3. You shouldn't have to pay a cover, as long as it's not a special occasion.

4. You shouldn't have to pay stadium pricing for a beer.

I like beer. I drink for quality over quantity and haven't has a hangover in ages. I like a beer whose taste can be talked about and doesn't require it to be ice cold to be drinkable. Now don't get me wrong, I'll happily drink a Bud or a PBR if that's what's available. I won't however, like a bar more just because its beer is super cheap. This blog is about what all the bars of Lakewood have to offer. I'll try to enjoy what makes each one awesome. This will include: atmosphere, beer selection, service, food, awesome, and what's being sold out of a pickle jar. I figure there must be a reason why people keep coming back to each bar when they have almost 50 other options. I'm going to find out what they are.

Starting the 1^st week of July I will begin my quest to go to almost 50 different bars in under 52 weeks. These will usually be picked at random. Let me know what you think as I go and if you see me come say hello. I'll be the bearded guy in the orange t-shirt. This is the beginning of a new adventure, one beer at a time. Check back every week to see what I've found. Pick up a shirt and see if you too have what it takes to drink in Every Bar in Lakewood.