Bar #47 Pacer's Restaurant (Deceased)

This week's bar faces the strongest opposition that I have seen so far. When announced that I was going here for this week's bar I had multiple negative comments with a slew of likes on them. Looking up reviews of the bar gives an odd split of very negative and positive reviews. My friends and I still ventured in to this week's bar ready for anything. Is bar #47 the worst bar in Lakewood or is Pacers Restaurant on pace for the best.

The first thing you see when you get to Pacers is a gigantic patio. It's in fact the largest one in Lakewood. So, if today's blog entices you to visit, then do it while it's warm enough to enjoy the giant outdoor space. The second thing we noticed was the entrance is a revolving door, always a good decision for drunk people. Of course the entrance is for the entire office building and not just the bar.

Upon entering the bar you are greeted by the hostess and a long room. The bar is split in four parts. The quarter you're in is just entrance area and bar seating. You can circle around the bar for more seating at the bar and play a variety of games like pool, darts and corn hole. There is of course the large patio area, that we chose against to hide from the insect hordes. The downside to living next to a Great Lake is it's also a great buzzy insect incubator. Lastly there is a bunch of seating at tables and booths ending with a large projection TV. The whole restaurant has a horse racing theme, which explains their name.

Just to get this part out of the way the service was good. They were friendly, answered my questions and put up with the my minor obnoxious ordering quirks that have slowly grown through this blog.

I ordered a Southern Tier Pumkin Ale. It had its own glass and they put cinnamon around the rim. Pumpkin is the primary flavor to the beer with a background taste of mild ale and a dusting of seasoning. I prefer a pumpkin ale to taste like pumpkin, not as an ingredient to be hidden. So I approve of the beer and will drink more of it once it's no longer summer.

Now onto food! There's free fresh popcorn. I ordered the garlic and chili wings both saucy and crispy. This didn't please me, they are very small and the crispiness eliminated almost all meatiness leaving them a bit tough. I also ordered the self proclaimed “America's Best Ribs.” They are not the best ribs in America. They are quite good. The sauce was solid, not standing out but enjoyable. The ribs were tender and meaty. Kelly ordered the quesadilla with very low expectations but they were good, being both light and non-greasy. Their ranch sauce/dressing was highly recommended. They also offer food, some nights, till 1 am.

Jonn doesn't like spicy foods for the most part. You may remember from a previous blog that he still tried the ghost pepper sauce and extremely regretted it. Jonn has been trying fight back against things that make him unhappy. He has a fear of heights but has been climbing mountains, very tall buildings and even trapezing. This is the reason that he tried the undead sauce, just because he doesn't like most hot things doesn't necessarily mean he won't like this one. The counter argument was presented: I don't like being hit in the face with a ball peen hammer. I'm not going to try getting hit by other hammers to see if I'll like a different one. The moral to our story is that there is a difference between facing new things and your fears and doing things that will make you unhappy in different ways.


Today's tip on women: Guys, when women have a cold with puffy eyes, and a runny nose. No matter how much “you don't mind”, they do not feel sexy. They also probably won't want your oozing face near theirs if you're the sick one. Tell them they're beautiful and give them some chicken soup because you know you're going to be a whiney jerk when you catch it from her.

Pacer's can stand as much as a restaurant with a bar as a bar with food. They have your normal bar activities including trivia, karaoke and free wifi. There's no problem just drinking during your visit. Pacer's has a large food selection levels and received mostly good reviews by the five of us. The beer selection is passable giving multiple options no matter what your beer taste is. The pricing is above dive bar but you can eat a meal for under $10. We left bar #47, Pacer's Restaurant, happy and so can you.

14600 Detroit Ave

216-226-2000

pacers1453@sbcglobal.net

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Bar #16: Madison Square Lanes

There's a bar in Lakewood that doesn't bowl for compliments with flashiness and gimics.  I've struck this bar more than any other in Lakewood.  But it's been a while since I've been there and have been pinning for it.  I couldn't spare another week.  So this weekend after the Spooky Pooch Parade we went to bar #16, Madison Square Lanes!

True, Madison Square Lanes doesn't have a tap.   For every rule an exception must be made, and there is something exceptional about Madison Lanes.  The bowling alley offers a bar, snack bar, bowling (of course,) pool, and a random assortment of arcade games.  What pulls all this together is Mike the owner.  He is always willing to help out and remembers the people that come in.

Your beer options cover both your normal options in canned form and a number of Great Lakes Brewery beers in bottles.  This is the first place I had the hipster iconic beer, PBR.  Since then, I have probably drank more PBR then any other beer.  The funny thing about PBR is that it's not very good, it's like a alcoholic water with a hint of beer.

They do have a variety of smacks you can order to be made from the bar.  More importantly, they have Sam's Smokies!  The best generic meat product in a plastic jar that money can buy.


I used a specific red ball back when I used to bowl more often.  It was the perfect weight and the holes were exactly where I wanted them.  This ball bumped my mediocre 130 average to a respectable 180.  The trick was that there was a chip in the finger hole that forced me to bowl better.  It also, made a mildly painful dent in my finger.  Mike wouldn't sell me it.  Turns out I wasn't the only one using it.  The combination of pain and a false sense of skill lead me to buy a new ball and shoes.  My finger felt better but my score did not.


Tonight, I used my red ball of awesome one last time.  One last time because it had two chunks taken out of it.  It left a dent but not in my score.  It seems if your ball randomly bounces it becomes less effective at hitting the pins.

Who is Mike you ask?  Mike owns and runs Madison Square Lanes.  He is what makes the bowling alley worth while.  He remembers the people that come to the Lanes and is usually there to offer advice on bowling and the individual lanes.  Thanks Mike.


Madison Lanes also has some other games.  There's a pool table.  You can get the feel of an amusement park with a classic quality skee ball game, sorry no game tickets.  You've also got the options of eating ghost clothes, jet skiing, and dancing.  You can also play your favorite backyard game, corn hole, but in an electronic folly ball version.  

Lastly, the bar has a juke box with a weird mixture of hits from over the last 60 years.  I usually make it my job to monopolize it for the entire time I'm there.  Primarily this is to prevent other people from playing bad music than my own skills as a dj.  Don't worry if you see me there I won't play anything off of the Best of Bread album.

I'm naming Madison Square Lanes as bar #16.  I go there to drink and have a good time with my friends.  This bar makes me happy and you should give it a try.  Tell Mike I sent you.


Awesome: Customer Service, Bowling, Juke Box

1653 Westwood Ave.

216-221-8558

Madison Square Lanes

Week 6: Plank Road Tavern

There are some bars that always seem to have a new owner and names. Now, I need to decided, should I add the bar to my list with each incarnation or am I just going by address?  If I'm sitting on the same stool drinking the same Coors, does the fact that the name's been scraped off the mirror so many times that its been painted on the wall behind now, mean that it's a different bar? Bar #6 The Plank Road Tavern aka the Riviera aka Panini's says otherwise.

The Plank Road Tavern was the closest bar to my house and that made it an easy decision. Well, that and I couldn't figure out if the original bar I was going to would be open. Upon entering the bar had a wide open woody feel. Their beer list is drawn with chalk on the walls. Their use of plank wood flooring helped match the bar's name. There was even a fake wood fire place mounted to the wall. The most obvious piece of ambiance to the bar was the Irish band that seemed to make the music up as they went (but in a good way.) The staff was friendly, but did split the table service between the cook and the bartender.

The food was great. You get to design your burger with multiple types of meat and many toppings. I went with the chorizo burger that was a really great burger without being overwhelming. The fries were pretty good. They were a kind of hybrid between potato chips and french fries. The beer selection was wide and mainly craft allowing everyone to get a beer they really like.

Luckily, I did walk to the Tavern. I have a genetic tell, that shows when I am drunk. I come from an Italian family. We live up to a hand full of stereotypes. One is my Noni (grandmother) still makes spaghetti for the whole family every Thursday. The next two are apparent during our holidays. One is our love of food which quickly looks like a plague of locusts eating all food in sight. The second is that we are loud. Not all at once, we are like a thunder storm ruling in off the lake. A little uproar here and there and then suddenly (especially if alcohol is present) we are thunder. Part of this is how each speaker is selected; every time a new person talks they are slightly louder. One hour later, we are all happily yelling at the top of our lungs about childhood anarchy, causing any new husbands or girlfriends of cousins visiting our Christmas for the first time to end up in a food coma/shell shock induced fetal position. I am the same way at the bar regardless of competition. A couple hours into the night and I'm talking in at the decibel level of a 747 for no apparent reason and suddenly my wife takes my keys away. Which is fine because I don't believe in DUI and you can't talk your way out of a ticket when you are screaming at the cop at the top of your lungs how you are just tired.

Near the end of my evening I decided to head to the patio to take a picture for the blog and found the other half of the bar. There is a huge patio out back, big enough to play a long distance game of corn hole while having plenty of room for everyone else. In the back was a kickball team that included one the owners/parents of one of my dog school students. It turns out they aren't simply big fans of my classes but also of my blog, as they quickly introduced me to anyone from their team they could drag over to me. They own a 6 month old goldadoodle named Luke that is trying very hard to earn his Canine Good Citizen despite the handicap of also being part Muppet.

The Plank Road Tavern is a comfortable bar with good service, food or beer. It's a great place to meet your friends or other people's without feeling claustrophobic or stuffy. There was nothing to complain about even if I wanted to. Make sure you stop by while the weather's still nice and check out that huge patio in the back.

The final lesson of the evening that my friend John learned was, after me coaxing his drunk self to find out, you can't join an acoustic Irish folk band with an electric base guitar. This week I'll both be attending the VIP grand opening party for Quaker Steak and Lube tonight and I'll be a celebrity judge for the Pillars of Lakewood Wing Crawl this Saturday. Hope to see you all at one or the other!

Awesome: Food, atmosphere, Music, Craft Beer

16719 Detroit Ave

216-221- 5900

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*All photos are from Plank Road Tavern's Facebook page as my camera phone fail me.